So today I have opted to write based on a prompt. The word that is to prompt me? “Continue”
Now, I find this pretty interesting, because I continue to write. My blog post was really supposed to be about mental illnesses. I had started it last week and spent almost all night yesterday and all day today drafting it up. I had just exited the screen for a hot second to find out the origin of the Theory of Spoonies, and when I returned It was gone! Hours and hours of pouring out my life, gone. I’m still seething about it. 😡😡
I sat there and stared at my computer screen in disbelief. Then I wailed into a pillow; that offered no release. I was so ready to post it. I was working on the last damn paragraph and poof!
I sat there some more and decided that I guess I wouldn’t write this week. I’m too angry and now I have writers block. Then I remembered a post I had seen in my feed about prompts, and my interest was piqued. It took me a couple of hours to actually get around to it, considering how drained I am. Yet, here I am, continuing to write.
I continued my destructive behaviors as well. The behaviors I am now less inclined to share because I am just repeating myself, to myself, as a lot of it was going to go in my previous post that will never have a life.
Today was my first day off all week. I attempted to have a day off multiple times, but shit kept me at work this week. I had at least 3 days this week that I was there double digit hours. I worked 50+ hours this week. Can’t wait to hear from my boss about that… 😒
Since I worked a lot, while having a continued terrible toothache, having my period, having little sleep, and just generally a lot of stress, I completely crashed today. I slept until 10am, was lazy and didn’t get up from bed, fell back asleep and didn’t wake up until 3/3:30pm. I’m still tired and probably would have continued sleeping if I didn’t force myself up to get water.
My other destructive behavior when I’m at an emotional rock bottom? Eating. I continued my poor eating habits. In a big way. Today’s breakfast was big slices of cheese, in bed, because I had just enough energy to get up to cut pieces off the block of cheese and head right back to bed.
Lunch? I continued eating my midnight snack of cake icing. Yup. You read right. The rainbow chip icing, because that takes the cake! (Hehehehe…. I hope my very punny friend is reading this. She would certainly enjoy that.) I had a banana, too. Because, ya know, I gotta be healthy.
I also continued to be antisocial today. That’s my trademark move on my days off. Don’t expect to hear from me. I’m too tired from a week’s worth of too much social interaction. The introvert in me is crying. I did get bored and texted my friend to see if she was doing anything. I wanted to go to the gym and work off all that icing. But she was busy and then I googled the gym, and it was already closed by the time I could get my act together, anyways.
So now I’m here, continuing to write because I’m bored and need an outlet. Just a typical Sunday for me.